Starting with the end in mind

For this first post I want to share a few insights into how Afterwords.life came into being and what we hope it will become.

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First, some back story. My grandmother was a major influence in my childhood - as mentor, advocate, adviser, friend - and when she died in 2006 I felt the loss of connection deeply. I wanted to hear her voice again, her thoughts and her stories.

Four years later my father passed away. At the time of his death, of cancer, we had been estranged for 40 years. In one of those “the Universe moves in mysterious ways” curiosities, just a few months before his death I had determined to end our stand-off and to reconcile with my father, only to find out, too late, that he had passed. As it so happened, he had written a memoir and although this helped answer some of the questions I had about my father, the man - it left important questions unanswered about the kind of man he was, what he stood for, what challenges he had faced, victories too - and I regretted the missed opportunity for he and I to reconnect, one-to-one.

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Fast forward to 2015. During a catch up over coffee in Sydney with my co-founder, Doug Leung, conversation turned to the loss of loved ones - how we lose their stories, as well as their presence in our day-to-day lives. We are both technologists by background and we started to explore transformative ways to use digital technology to address challenges of death and the disconnection it brings. It was out of this discussion that Afterwords.life was conceived.

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Death is not an easy topic to talk about in modern society. We tend to shy away from it, perhaps fearing that discussing death will attract it to us, or that giving thought to death is somehow a denial of life. And yet, death is an inevitability whatever our religious, cultural or scientific view of the matter.

Fortunately, things are changing in this regard. The death positive movement, along with other related initiatives, is bringing death and dying into the mainstream conversation. This is important for lots of reasons - for example with death comes the need to get our affairs in order (while we still can!)

There is now much more information and tools available for end of life planning, including creating a will, advanced care plan and funeral plan as well as setting up enduring powers of attorney. Afterwords.life adds another vital tool - the ability to provide for our loved ones emotionally, by extending our love beyond death - to be present in spirit and in voice at the milestones in the lives of the ones we leave behind.